| You Are What You Eat |
A Shorthand Guide to some of York's Restaurants
Italian
You may have seen these kit restaurants elsewhere, and as far as theme places go, the decor here isn't too bad. Pity abbout the food. I'd rather they spent more time on getting the food right than ensuring that they've hung "authentic" pictures of scenes from New York bar life in the best position. The portion of chicken strips I had as a starter wouldn't have fed a budgie. Karen had a Griddled Chicken Breast with Lemon and Lime. The chicken itself was okay (you squashed the lemon and lime over it) but frankly, Frankie, I could do better at home in fifteen minutes for under a quid. The chips that came with it were so pale they were almost transparent. My boy had a margherita pizza, easily the best choice out of all of us, big and generously topped with cheese. Lots of families in when we were there, but there is a bar area if you have to wait.
We think this place serves the best cappuccinos in York, but they are a restaurant as opposed to a tea room and sometimes will only seat you if you're ordering food. Can't complain about that. Cafe Uno is nice and bright, they welcome children and their menu for both snacks and food is both varied and tasty. My current favourite is Penne with Pork and Leek Meatballs. Followed by a cappuccino. Or two.
Lovely restaurant, no doubt intended to take your mind off the fact that their pizzas are a bit on the small side if you're used to Pizza Hut, which I am. This place is trendier though. They serve pizzas and not much else, but they're always fresh cooked and appetising, although I think that they should allow you the option of building your own. I understand that they don't change their menu all that much, so sometimes you're ordering a pizza "without the eggplant and anchovies, please". We quite like the small dough balls with garlic butter that they serve as a starter, as does our boy. If you're male, check out the splendid Victorian bogs. If you're femail, check them out too. We won't complain.
There are another two Italian restaurants nearby, but this has the most character. You could also say that it's the most shabby too, but you're allowed to bring your own wine to get over the fact. We went in for their evening special of any pizza or pasta for £4.95, which was pretty good value. I wasn't very impressed, however, by the fact that although there was only one other table occupied they still managed to get my order wrong.
Indian
This is the Indian in York that I visit most often, probably because it's on the way home from the pubs. I think the food here is always well prepared, comes in good sized portions, and competes favourably with anything else I've tried in York. Yes, the phrase "value for money" springs to mind. Restaurant is small and a bit cramped when busy. I'd recommend their balti dishes, although they don't claim this as a speciality. The Rogan Josh I tried recently was somewhat bland, but their Tikka was tasty and quite substantial. Try the Chicken Packura as a starter, just enough to put you in the mood for more.
Just off the ring road on the North side of the city, part of a currently forming Retail Park, so it looks as if it's part of a currently forming retail park. It's design is "New Indian" inside - i.e. no red and gold wallpaper, but all bright and white with purple, green and yellow seats. Makes a change, I suppose. The dish I ordered, a balti I think, came in a copper bucket and needed a bit of salt. Karen's tandoori was standard stuff, but pretty good. This place will never have character, but due to it's location, will be here for a few years yet.
Chinese
Not in the greatest location in York -adjacent to a Kwiksave carpark
- but they serve good food. It always looks well prepared, as if someone has chopped and shaped the vegetables,
or selected decent mushrooms from the market (let's be serious: Kwiksave's vegetable section).
The restaurant is nice enough inside and I've never seen it completely full. Perhaps this is due to the location,
but there is no denying that prices are a bit on the high side with a standard main course coming in at around
£8. You get what you pay for, however, and the restaurant seems to be kept busy enough as it is, processing
takeaway orders for the nearby housing estates.
I'm not a great fan of Chinese restaurants, but if someone was to ask me to recommend one in York, I'd opt either
for here or The Jade Garden. Neither will disappoint.
Do not despise the snake for having no horns, for who is to say it
will not become a dragon? So they said in the 1970's on The Water Margin. In the same way, do not despise The Willow
for having no decent food, for who is to say you may have been there on an off day?
On the other hand, I can but report on what I had. We visited for the afternoon buffet. (Why are buffets always
disappointing and stressful? And why is the fattest family in Western Europe always there on the same day as you,
stacking their plates high with the ribs?) I had, therefore, a wide variety of dishes to choose from, but it all
boiled down to cheap meat cuttings mixed with wallpaper paste, tomato sauce, sugar, pineapple juice and MSG. Bilge,
the lot of it.
The food, however, was better than the decor. Do not visit this restaurant in daylight hours. To call it dilapidated
would be a compliment. There's even a clapped out disco. Is this to take your mind off the food? I often think
the Chinese are cynical about their Western customers, but did they put this in on the basis of "a few vodka
and cokes and the Birdie song and nobody will remember the food"? As for the toilets, well, let's face it,
Chinese restaurants have never been big on this aspect of their dining experience, but I'd have been more impressed
with a plastic bucket and a packet of wet-wipes. Need I go on?
The Willow - eat it and weep.
"Nice here, in'nit?", is a comment I'd expect to hear in the Jade Garden. There's nothing really spectacular about it, and nothing to complain about either. Food is fine - I usually have one of their noodle dishes - and the decor verges towards the plain. I prefer my Chinese restaurants to have red and green fire-breathing dragons hanging from the ceiling, as it takes my mind off the banality of the food. Try their Roast Char Siu Pork dish, which is one of the more unusual offerings. It's actually one of the best Char Siu dishes I've had, sliced pork swimming in a rich, dark soy sauce. Drink copious amounts of liquid afterwards though. There's more salt in it than the Dead Sea. They could also do with a non-smoking area - last time I visited, some idiot was polluting everywhere with his cigar. I watched as he exhaled smoke into his girlfriend's face: romance isn't dead, eh?
The Royal Dragon, Barbican Road
Now this is more like it. Two big golden dragons with fiery red eyes adorn the wall, and stare angrily at you as you flick rice onto the floor with your chopsticks. So do the waiters. We took the "serve it all at once and we'll pick away at it" approach, and had aromatic duck, salt and chilli ribs, sweet and sour chicken with fried rice. Yes, the meal was a cliche, but not too bad. Ribs were disappointing and there weren't enough pancakes with the duck though. Restaurant itself is pretty big, with a large car park around the back and both were full the Saturday night we were in, so it's best to book. We were seated in a room adjacent to the main area, and had to signal for service as you can be forgotten quite easily in here, seemingly. Nice pint of John Smiths, and small cups of coffee at £1.50 a throw (with numerous refills). We've been in much worse.
I admit it's ages since I've eaten in here. It's a small restaurant that's been around for a while, which suggests it has a loyal clientelle, as it's not exactly in the centre of town. Food was standard Chinese, verging on the expensive. Service was also standard Chinese: abrupt, grunting and efficient.
Ten minutes drive north of York, this looks like it once was a country pub which has been converted to a Chinese, and not a bad one at that. Try the Salt and Pepper mushrooms for a starter and the Singapore Noodles for a main course. Both are very good. We also tried Sweet and Sour Chicken, but the massive battered chunks of meat were a bit unappetising. The fried rice was a radioactive yellow, and also pretty tasteless. Nice wine list recommending wines to compliment various dishes, and they serve a good pint of Theakstons too.
French
Another chain attempting to strip the last vestiges of originality from English town centres. It's still one step up from McDonald's I suppose, and the food on offer here is refreshingly different from the unchallenged stranglehold of the Indian/Chinese/Italian axis. Don't like the downstairs seating much, as you can find yourself almost in another couple's lap as the place gets busy and people shuffle up. Ask to be seated upstairs, it's much better. Menu changes every so often, so don't count on ordering that lovely dish you had in London, or the last time you visited. It's also quite expensive for what you get, and they have an annoying policy of writing in service charges. Now I don't mind tipping for good service. I used to be a waiter myself, so this predisposes me to leave 10% or more. But there is such a thing as lousy service, and that shouldn't be rewarded. Neither should we be subsidising crap wages. Espescially in big, successful chains like this.
Another French "chain" that's not quite as trendy as it used to be and is now struggling as a franchise. The thing that I dislike about this restaurant is that it's too dark and never seems to brighten up, which is a shame as the food is quite good. Depending on when you go, it offers value for money too - like their two courses for £5.99. Cafe Rouge please take note.
Various
It's more a pub than a restaurant, but they have pretentions to be foody, so they deserve a slating for the food I got. I opted for the "Soil Association" Sausages and Mash. If the sausages had been warm, they'd have been quite nice. If the mash hadn't been lumpy, I'd have loved it. If the gravy had shed it's skin, I'd have found it eatable. And at £6.50, if it had been half the price I'd still have been pissed off. Infact, I'd have preferred a slug and lettuce. Get a grip!
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Fiesta Mehicana, 14 Clifford St., York, 610243
Two hundred sombreros nailed to the ceiling remind you that this is a Mexican experience, along with an interesting drinks menu explaining the variety and blends of tecquilla available. All are like Sancho Panza - they'll blow your head off if you're not careful. The food, I thought, was a cut above the normal Tex-Mex chain slop that thinks authentic Mexican is slivers of meat mixed with peppers and onions, done in a chargrill. Served with flour tortillas, sour cream and salsa, that'll be £12, thanks. Okay, that is available here too, but I found the blackened chicken to be well marinated and spiced, the beef and chorizo tasty, the rice wasn't an afterthought and the presentation was spot on. (They state all their food is "homecooked on the premises".) As a starter, I didn't think their nachos were up to much, but the accompanying salsa dip was nicely flavoured and not too salty. They also served cold Stella on draught, which washed it all down nicely. We skipped sweets and opted for vanilla flavoured coffee instead, and were dumbfounded to see it served with UHT milk! Now what is the point of that?! Never mind, the rest of the food made up for it, and our meal came in at just under £30. Check out their excellent Website for menu details and other information: one day, you'll be able to check out all restaurants like this before you visit (I hope)!
Serving a lunch and dinner menu, The Doremouse strives to offer something a little bit different from standard pub fare (although you can't help but think it all arrives in the back of a chilled van, ready prepared). Mind you, I'd still recommend their awesome Brunch that puts even a Little Chef Olympic Breakfast to shame as a lard fest. At night, choose from dishes such as a Chicken Arrabbiata, Sirloin Steak with Mushroom and Marsala, Salmon Prawn & Four Cheese Pasta and various specials. Finish it off with what is perhaps the best Irish coffee we've had anywhere, and you'll be pretty satisfied.
I've often passed this pub at night and gawped at the girls in thigh length boots and skimpy dresses queing to be admitted. And the boys with the beer guts, tattoos and capped T-shirts. Or was it the other way around? During the day, however, things are much more conservative, including their lunch menu. It attempts to cover most of the bases from BLT's to Pitta Wraps, from Lasagne to Thai Chicken, and the portions are substantial to say the least! Good value, nice coffee too and you could do much worse for a pub lunch in York.
Nice views over the River Ouse are almost obscured by the size of the plates they serve you with here. The menu reminds you of pubs like the Slug and Lettuce, or any of these other chain pubs that are expanding out from London to see if there's life North of Watford. They serve starters, sandwiches, main courses and salads - I'd recommend the nachos, and avoid the Chargrilled Chicken Breast with Stir Fried Vegetables (wouldn't feed a gerbil). It verges on the expensive too.
Putting the "traditional" into traditional, if you fancy a carvery then this is the place to seek out. Or places, as they have premises in both Coppergate and Stonegate. You can't complain about what you are about to receive, and the Yorkshire Puddings with gravy could be eaten until the cows become the main course.
Roomy Italian restaurant on Walmgate, which can resist the temptation to squeeze as many seats as possible into the available space. There are many restaurants in York where you can find yourself sharing your meal, conversation, cigarette smoke, dandruff and who knows what else with five adjoining tables. The menu offered a varied selection of pizza, pasta, seafood, veal and pork dishes that was more extensive than many other Italians we've visited, and the food itself was bettter than average. They also have enough space at the front of the restaurant for you to enjoy a drink and study the menu before taking your seat. Definately one of York's better Italians.
Not advertised as "Italian", but "Sardinian". What's the difference? Is there "horse's head" on the menu? Fortunately not, and although I'm still not sure of what Sardinian cooking is all about, it was damn good. I ordered the distinctly non-Italian Sirloin Steak with Rosemary and it was superb, charcoal black on the outside, medium rare and juicy when I cut in. I often find that steaks are hit-and-miss in restaurants, either over-cooked or dehydrated from being in the freezer, but this was spot on. I was with three others who all raved about their dishes too. So thumbs up for the food. It's also quite an unusual restaurant in that it's downstairs and reminiscent of the Lendal Cellars with its low ceilings, brickwork and arches, but this means you've a chance of a secluded table and privacy to eat. I've been in York seven years, but this was the first time I'd visited this place, and am kicking myself over it - I'll be back soon.
I heard this new restaurant out at the White Rose Business Park must have cost about £1.5m.. And believe me, you are going to help pay for it! If you think that £11.90 for a distinctly average Sweet & Sour Chicken, Fried Rice and Prawn Crackers is value for money then good luck to you. But frankly, you're daft. I tried the Salt and Pepper ribs as a starter, thinking that at £7.80 they must be quite good. Well, they were, and it was a big portion, but £7.80?! Come off it. We visited in the opening week, and it was chaos. I won't go into too many details and will put what we experienced down to teething troubles, but if you're putting this much investment into a restaurant then perhaps hiring staff with a basic knowledge of rudimentary English might be a good idea. At one point, we were visited by four different waiters trying to understand what exactly our minor complaint was about! Eventually we gave up. So good luck Maxi's. I hope you attract the custom you're looking for, but we'll be making the short drive 'round to the Oriental Pearl instead, which you make look exceedingly good value for money!
Harry Ramsden started off these Pizza Hut-style chippies, realising that people may to prefer to sit and eat food off plates in nice surroundings, instead of out of soggy newspapers in the pouring rain. The food is what you'd expect from a fish and chip restaurant. Try their fish. Or their chips. Add variety with mushy peas. Salt and vinegar optional extras.
Lal Quilla, Bishopthorpe Rd, 670684
The interior is painted a lovely shade of Tandoori, but the staff are nice, friendly and attentive. Unfortunately, they should pay attention to general customer needs by providing a non-smoking section. I'm no anti-smoker, but being sandwiched between two tables of four puffers while we struggled through our courses was a bit much. Their conversation, which you couldn't help but be party to in the cramped enviroment, was worse (a bunch of students loudly and immaturely discussing the merits of sex three times a night). Food was of average standard - we'd have preferred the Tandoori Chicken to be a bit more blackened - and the Chicken Aloo I had wasn't as tasty as I'd hoped.